What Makes You Happy

So apparently, when  I wrote Jason/Brenda stuff in 2002/03, I wrote it in script form. Interesting. Set after Jax leaves Brenda at the altar because he’s a dicktard. I’m assuming I’m just pretending Courtney doesn’t exist in this story. Ha. That would be lovely.


After Brenda left the hotel and after Sonny left Jason at Carly’s.

(Brenda is sitting on the docks, staring into space. Jason comes down the steps.)

Jason(frowns) I thought you were getting married.

Brenda(faintly) So did I.

Jason(sighs and sits next to her) What happened?

Brenda: Please…don’t act like you care. I can’t handle someone else pretending they care.

Jason: I never liked that idiot.

Brenda: You were never his favorite person either. (softly) You know…they say once you find love, you’re supposed to hold to it. Cherish it. Protect it. (she wipes her eyes and looks at him) They lied.

Jason(quietly, now concerned) What happened?

Brenda: He waited for me to come down the aisle. He waited for me to say my vows—he even said his own. He waited for me to promise my life to him. And then he said no.

Jason(stunned) He said what?

Brenda: He said no. He left me at the altar. (shakes head) I should have known. You know, the only wedding I ever had that was both legal and actually happened…was to you. Can you believe the irony?

Jason: Do you know why he did it?

Brenda: He found out that I made a mistake. A mistake that I can’t take back—one that I didn’t tell him about. He found out I kissed Sonny.

Jason: Yeah…I already knew about that. Carly found out. She thought Sonny was leaving her.

Brenda: It was a goodbye kiss…a kind of test to make sure you know, that I was ready to let go. Ready to move on. And you know what? I was. I was right. I love Jax, he’s who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And he left me at the altar.

Jason: I’m sorry it had to happen that way, Brenda.

Brenda: I’m not. Because I could have spent my life with him and never saw him for who he was. I’m glad it happened this way. I saw who he really was and I realized that I can’t be with someone like him.

Jason(sits back and stares into space for a few moments) At least you saw it before it was too late.

Brenda: Have you ever loved someone so much…that losing them just…it just breaks you? It makes it impossible for you to breathe, to function, to make rational decisions?

Jason(after a beat) Yeah.

Brenda(surprised) Oh. Wow. Really? (sniffles) Did you fix it? Did you learn how to live without them?

Jason: No. I…I’m still working on that.

Brenda(disappointed) Oh. Does the pain go way, though? I mean, do you eventually…can you breathe without wanting to cry? Can you go somewhere where you used to go with them…and not want to destroy the place?

Jason: There’s almost no where I can go…that I didn’t with her.

Brenda(softly) Who are you talking about? Is it Robin?

Jason: No. It’s not Robin.

Brenda: You know…this is the first real conversation we ever had. Too bad I’m leaving.

Jason: You’re leaving?

Brenda: I can’t stay here. Something needs to change in my life. And nothing’s going to change if I stay.

Jason: Sometimes it doesn’t change if you go, either.

Brenda: Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.

Jason: I left once. Tried to sort out my life. Didn’t really work. I came back when I thought I was ready and found out that I’d messed up. I’d waited too long to make up my mind.

Brenda: If I stay, I have to see Jax. And the thought of seeing him…I can’t handle it, Jason. I can’t do it. I have to go.

Jason: If you need anything…

Brenda: Be careful. I might take you up on that.

Jason: I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.

Brenda: Yeah. I know. That’s one of your good points. Goodbye, Jason. (stands)

Jason(stands) Goodbye.

Brenda: You’ll give me a call if you ever figure it out? How to make the pain go away?

Jason: Yeah.

Brenda: Good. I think I’m gonna need it. (impulsively she hugs him) Good luck, Jason. And find a way to be happy. You’re the only person I think I really want to be happy in this godforsaken town.

Jason(lightly hugs her back) Yeah, okay. I’ll try.

Brenda(pulling away) Don’t try. Do it. Find out what makes you happy and go for it. I did that. Kind of back fired on me, but at least I went after what I wanted. You’ll never have any regrets that way.

(She smiles at him and walks away. Jason watches her climb the stairs for a moment and stares after her even when she’s gone. He hears sounds from behind him. He turns, it’s Elizabeth.)

Elizabeth(hesitantly) Hi.

Brenda(Voiceover) Find what out what makes you happy and go for it.

Jason: Hey. (pause) You want to go for a ride?

Elizabeth(surprised) Really?

Jason: Yeah.

Elizabeth: Sure.

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