Soundtrack: Come On Eileen @ Grooveshark
After eight years, I still can’t figure out a way to end it, so please help me write the second part! How do Liason fall in love? Scrubs stop snarking? Keep Brenda fun!
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
Why don’t you go where fashion sits,
Puttin’ on the ritz.
“Absolutely not.” Robin Scorpio leaned forward and switched off the CD player. “No one even likes that song.”
Brenda Barrett stuck her finger in the air and wagged it at her friend. “If no one liked that song, how did it become a hit?”
“It was the eighties,” Robin sighed. “They were all high.”
“You’re thinking of the sixties,” Elizabeth Spencer corrected. She pressed the skip button on the CD player a few times. “What about this one?”
If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the… Love Shack! Love Shack, yeah
“It’s predictable,” Brenda vetoed. She started to flip through her stack of CDs.
“Exactly. We’re not picking music we like,” Elizabeth reminded her. “We’re picking music that’ll appeal to the masses.”
Brenda snorted. “The masses of Port Charles have no taste.” She noted it down anyway for the play list. “We have to get serious about this or we’re going to find ourselves at the Metro Court with no music and a lot of bored people. Not the way to raise money for the Stone Cates Foundation if you ask me.”
“Okay, okay,” Robin consulted the list of songs on the current CD. “We’ve got ten, that’s not a bad start. Liz and I have another fifteen minutes before we have to get back to work and you have to go check on the caterer.”
Brenda leaned towards Elizabeth. “You’d think I’d never planned a party before. Chica keeps forgetting that I am the original party girl. Hello!”
“How about this?” Elizabeth pressed play.
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried and sang along and who’d blame them
“Hell yeah!” Brenda leapt to her feet and pulled Robin up with her. “I love this song!”
“Brenda—“ Robin laughed as her friend pulled her into a dance.
Now you’re grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers
“Girl can still move!” Brenda bumped butts with Robin before launching into some kind of weird combination that had both her co-hostesses laughing. Robin pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to control herself.
Come on Eileen, well I swear (what he means)
At this moment you mean everything
“Come on, Liz!” Brenda tugged the nurse to her feet and dragged her into their dance. “Get down with your bad self, you’re way too young to look so sad!”
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen
Robin laughed as Brenda tried to dip Elizabeth, forgetting that all three of them were basically the same height. Elizabeth was laughing to hard to keep her own balance and slipped, pulling Brenda down with her.
“You—guys—look—so—ridiculous!” Robin managed to choke out between the giggles.
Brenda and Elizabeth looked up at the doctor from their positions on the ground and each reached out to grasp Robin’s ankles and yanked her down to the ground with them.
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
They’re so resigned to what their fate is
“You are horrible!” Robin gasped as she rolled her to her knees. She tried to be mad but just started giggling again. “It’s no wonder this benefit is next week and we’re still not getting anywhere.”
“Yeah, we totally can’t work together anymore,” Elizabeth sighed with a snorting giggle. She hoisted herself to her feet.
But not us, no—
She switched off the song and plopped back down in the chair. “Come on, we’ve only got another ten minutes before we have to get back.”
Brenda sighed. “Yes, ma’am.” She saluted. “What’s the next song?” She and Robin sat back down.
“Well, we probably need a ballad,” Elizabeth said. “Some people do bring dates to these things.” She snorted. “Can’t imagine why. Men suck.”
“I hear that,” Brenda sighed heavily.
“They’re the root of all evil,” Robin agreed. She glanced over the list of songs. “How come no one’s ever written a song called Men Are Pigs?”
“Probably have but there’s no commercial success in that,” Brenda sipped her soda with a loud slurp. “Everyone wants happy sappy songs or unbearably angsty breakup songs. You know—I love you girl, I screwed up girl, I want you back girl. They just don’t write the song—I’m sorry I screwed your best friend girl, I’m sorry I left you at the altar in the rain—”
“I’m sorry that I refused to adopt your son and blamed you for the death of your partner,” Elizabeth chimed in.
“I’m sorry I’m a rotten lying cheating man whore who needs to sleep with every trashy blonde that comes my way,” Robin added dryly.
“Well, there is always the country music genre,” Brenda perked up. “Goodbye Earl is one of my personal favorites. Give the old man a what for and all that.”
“Anyway, angsty ballads, cue—” Robin pressed play.
All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling
Inside I’m slowly dying
But the rain will hide my crying
Elizabeth snapped it off. “Okay, that’s enough angsty goodness. We’ll just okay it and then I’ll duck out of the room when it plays.” She noted the title and song down, “Next?”
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round.
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.
Robin grimaced. “I hate the eighties.” She pressed stop. “Let’s go for a love song, eh? It’s gotta be better than angst.”
I can’t fight this feeling any longer
And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
Elizabeth switched off the CD player. “And on that note, I’m going back to work. Brenda—”
“Caterer, yes, yes,” Brenda started shoving the CDs and notes into her bag and both Robin and Elizabeth watched in horror as all their hard work disappeared into the abyss of Brenda’s tote. “Chill, chicas. I have a system.”
“Dear God,” Robin moaned. She hit her forehead with her palm. “Brenda, just remember—we’re feeding the masses, not Brenda Barrett.”
“Chill out,” Brenda rolled her eyes. “Look, sweetie, I’m all about pining away for the guy—do you remember my post Sonny days when he married Lily?”
Robin snorted. “There’s pining and there’s stalking, Brenda.”
“Details,” Brenda sniffed. “Anyway, it’s been two months since you caught Doc Hot in a tryst with the bottle blonde from hell. Move on, already.” She turned to Elizabeth, “And you—”
Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “Yes, oh wise one?”
“Lucky is an ass. Go find a hottie in a bar and boink his brains out.” She frowned. “Just not Robin’s hottie, understood?” She stood and tossed her tote over her shoulder. “Now if you don’t mind, I have a charity benefit to finish planning.”
“You know, I’m glad she’s back home,” Robin said after a long moment. “Even if she could take lessons in subtlety.”
“Nah,” Elizabeth finished her soda. “I prefer the bluntness. Too many people never tell the truth anymore.” She eyed Robin warily. “Don’t you have a consult with Patrick scheduled when we get back?”
“Don’t remind me,” Robin pursed her lips. “I’d really rather not think about him if I don’t have to.” She tossed her cup in a nearby trash and stood. “Don’t you have a meeting with Justus after work?”
Elizabeth grimaced. “Don’t remind me. The next time I want to get to married, just smack me.”
“Not a problem.” The duo headed for the parking lot. “So, are you bringing a date next week?”
Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Oh, definitely. I blackmailed Jason into taking me. I figure he can’t sit around in that penthouse any longer. He’s got to get up and move on with his life. So what if his ex-fiancé went totally all stalker psycho on her birth mother and then left him to rot in jail because he didn’t agree with her?” She slid a sly glance to Robin. “And you, my fellow loser in love?”
“I have a fabulous escort, I must confess,” Robin said breezily. She unlocked her car door. “He’s a perfect gentleman and he’s adorable to boot.”
Elizabeth frowned at her. “Have I met this paragon?”
“Unfortunately yes,” Robin sighed. “Ned’s taking me. How much of a loser am I? You at least get someone who’s…well…” she pursed her lips. “Well, you’re actually right there with me on the loser scale. I’m taking one of my oldest friends and you’re taking one of your oldest friends and I believe we both had to blackmail them into doing that, so…” she stuck her tongue out at Elizabeth.
General Hospital: Fourth Floor Nurse’s Station
“How was the planning lunch?” Emily asked as Elizabeth stepped up at the nurse’s station to scan her patient’s charts.
“It was okay—we settled about on about five more songs, so it’s an improvement.” Elizabeth flashed a smile at her oldest friend. “Brenda’s meeting with the caterer, Robin’s finalizing the Metro Court with Jax later tonight and I’m supposed to meet the party designer there after work.” She reached for a chart only to find that someone else wanted it.
“Sorry,” Elizabeth muttered, releasing the folder like it had scalded her hands. Dr. Patrick Drake sighed heavily.
“How long is the deep freeze going to last?” he asked pointedly. “I didn’t even do anything to you.”
Elizabeth sniffed. “That’s a matter of opinion. I happen to be very loyal to my friends.” She picked up a different folder and walked away.
“She’s not really mad at you,” Emily offered. “Well—that’s probably not true.” She laughed and tucked her hair behind her ears. “The divorce is not going well and she’s just taking it out on you.”
“So everyone who knows Robin is going through a tough time and just taking it out on me?” Patrick asked, resigned. “That’s fine. I probably deserve it.”
Emily snorted. “Probably? More like definitely and absolutely but hey, that’s just my opinion.”
Metro Court: Banquet Hall
“Okay, look, I know what you’re trying to tell me,” Elizabeth said, frustrated. “But bright clashing colors and balloons and streamers iswhat we’re going for.”
“It’s just unseemly, Mrs. Spencer,” Elton said with a sniff. “It’s garish and unappealing—”
“So was most of the eighties which is the decade we’re shooting for.” Elizabeth tossed Elton’s proposed colors of silver and blue aside and reached for the material book again. “And when it comes down to it, the client gets what they want, remember?”
“It’s the designer’s job to inform them when they’re making a ghastly mistake,” Elton replied. He yanked the book from her grasp. “After all we know better.”
“Hey, if you want me to take my money elsewhere,” Elizabeth said.
“Well, as I understand it, Mrs. Spencer, it’s not your money,” Elton corrected. “It’s Ms. Barrett’s and she has impeccable taste.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Carly drawled from behind her. “Elton, we already went over this remember?”
“What do you mean?” Elizabeth demanded. “What do you have to do with this?”
“Elton brought his concerns to me and while I agree in theory, classy and elegant isn’t the theme,” Carly shrugged. “I remember the eighties and I’ve seen all the movies. It was not a fun time for fashion and matching colors. It was almost as bad as the seventies.” She patted Elton’s shoulder. “Now someone who hopes to have our customers referred to him on a consistent basis should know that the customer is always right.”
“Fine,” Elton sighed. “I will find a way to make this room as garish as necessary.” He gathered up his materials and left the room in a snit.
“Good grief,” Elizabeth muttered. “Thanks for the help—apparently, a divorced nurse’s opinion doesn’t count for much in this town.”
“And apparently a divorced reformed con artist and town tramp’s opinion does,” Carly remarked wryly. “It’s a strange world. Jax called—he had to cancel his meeting with Robin and sent me.”
Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“That’s what I told him. So I knew you were still here and maybe you’d want to play referee so I don’t go for her hair and she doesn’t try to kick me in the knees as midgets are inclined to do.”
“You know, one day, Carly—you and Robin are going to find you have something in common,” Elizabeth replied. “I hope I’m there to see it.”
“We do have something in common—utter loathing for each other.” Carly sat down at the table across from Elizabeth. “So I asked Jason if he was coming—he always supports these AIDS benefits and he told me that you had talked him into it.”
“I needed a date, and he needs to leave that penthouse every once in a while,” Elizabeth replied. “Besides, there’s nothing that’ll piss Lucky off more.” Elizabeth started to shred a piece of paper into pieces. “Not that it’s totally why I asked Jason but it is a nice side benefit.”
“Oh, no I totally agree that Jason needs to start moving on with his life. He’s just been shut in since Sam left him in jail and then took off to—” Carly faked quotes in the air using her hands, “find herself.” She snorted. “And then with the Sonny and Emily implosion —which I totally predicted—he’s not talking to Sonny now.” She exhaled in a huff. “I swear, he just needs one night out where his life doesn’t suck.”
“Don’t we all,” Elizabeth muttered. “I met with Justus about the divorce and can you believe Lucky’s trying to go for custody of Cameron?”
“Men,” Carly sighed. “Can’t live with them and can’t shoot ’em.” She snorted. “But apparently, they can shoot you.”
General Hospital : Fourth Floor Nurse’s Station
Robin stomped up to the desk and slapped a medical chart on the counter, muttering to herself. “Arrogant, self-centered, egotistical…”
“I don’t need a crystal ball to tell me who you’re talking about,” Emily said, with a sympathetic gaze. “The consult went badly?”
“I don’t even know why the parents even bothered with me. They had all but decided on surgery and then Patrick just had to tell them I haven’t had much success with my trials.” Robin huffed. “How am I supposed to get any kind of progress in my research if he never lets me have a patient?”
“Well, you know, we could always do what my mother did with a doctor that pissed her off once. He sued her for sexual harassment, remember?”
“Dr. Dorman,” Robin nodded. “Another man who thought he’s was God’s gift to the female race. I remember that because Jason stopped her. Probably should have let her put a bullet between his eyes.”
“Yeah, well he was a worthless human being. I’m not advocating the killing part of it, but I wouldn’t mind shoving Patrick Drake into a supply closet and leaving him there to starve for a few days,” Emily said.
“There’s an idea I could get behind,” Robin sighed, “Unfortunately, I have to go meet Jax about the benefit—”
“Oh, he called and left a message. He had to cancel and you’ll have to meet with Carly,” Emily said, braced for Robin’s reaction.
“Yep, that’s just the way the day’s been going,” Robin muttered. She finished making her notes and shoved the chart away. “I’m going to go get changed,” she told Emily and turned away—smacking into the object of her annoyance. “Watch where you’re going,” she snarled.
Patrick steadied her on her feet before taking a step back. “I’m sorry if you’re pissed because I told the kid’s parents the truth but they deserve to know all the options.”
“No, you mean that you just wanted to slice his head open and the only way to make sure to do that is to badmouth my research every time we have a consult,” Robin retorted. “That’s fine—because the only place where you’re actually as good as you think you are is in the operating room.” She stalked away.
“Hey, she complimented you,” Emily said, a little surprised. “That’s new.”
“Only Robin Scorpio could compliment someone while telling them exactly what she thinks of them.” Patrick rubbed his eyes. “Does she hold grudges for a long time?”
“Have you seen Robin with Carly?” Emily asked seriously.
“So the answer would be yes.” Patrick grimaced. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
The Day of the Bash
MetroCourt: Ball Room
I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
“I’m going,” Jason said immediately after entering the garishly decorated room. He made a face and started to turn.
“Hey, hey, remember the part about my complete and utter humiliation as the dumped divorcee?” Elizabeth demanded, catching his arm. “We made a deal.”
“And what do I get in return for this?” Jason sighed, allowing himself to be led towards one of the front tables.
“My undying devotion,” Elizabeth replied perkily. She grinned up at him and Jason reluctantly decided inwardly that if his being here was going to make her smile like that, then he would stay until the bitter end or die trying.
Unfortunately, he was pretty sure it was going to be latter.
One look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face
“She actually managed to drag Jason here,” Ned Ashton remarked, highly impressed. Robin smiled brightly and started to lead him to the same table.
“There is very little that man won’t do for her. If I still believed in fairy tales and happily ever after, I’d think they were in love.” She scowled at seeing Patrick enter the ballroom solo. “Luckily, I know that’s all a load of crap.”
“Ah, there’s my sweet and sentimental Robin.”
Do you remember when we used to dance
And incidence arose from circumstance
“My girls!” Brenda proclaimed as they all reached the table. “My fabulous chicas! We did such an amazing job, didn’t we?” She rounded the table and hugged an irritated Jason. “How’s my favorite ex-husband?”
“Considering I’m the only legal one you have, I’ll take that for what it’s worth,” Jason said dryly. Brenda pinched him. “Ow! Hey!”
Elizabeth flicked Brenda in her bare upper arm. “Hey! What did I tell you about bugging Jason tonight?”
“To make sure to do it out of your sight?” Brenda asked innocently.
“Right,” Elizabeth nodded.
“Duly noted. Let’s get this party rolling!” Brenda grabbed the other two women by the arms and all but dragged them to the stage erected at the front of the room. She made a motion to the DJ to cut the music. “Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the best eighties bash ever held in Port Charles!”
There was smattering of applause and several catcalls as Brenda twirled in a circle, showing off her skimpy silver grown. “Before we get this party started, we need to be serious for a moment and remember why we’re here.”
She cleared her throat and smiled at Robin before turning her attention back to the crowd. “Ten years ago this November, we lost a very special person. Most of you knew him and I’m sure you would all agree—he would have had a blast tonight. Stone Cates meant a lot to all of us, and tonight, we honor him with the first benefit held by the Stone Cates Foundation. To explain a bit more about this organization, I’d like to introduce its founder and one of my fabulous co-hostesses, Robin Scorpio.” Brenda handed the microphone to her friend and stepped back next to Elizabeth.
“Before I talk about the Foundation, I want to thank Brenda and Elizabeth Webber for all their help and support in getting tonight ready. I couldn’t have done it without you guys,” Robin remarked. “Stone Cates died due to complications of the AIDs virus. In the ten years since his death, we’ve raised so much money right here in Port Charles for research and we have one of the country’s most prestigious outpatient care facilities at GeneralHospital, donated by Sonny Corinthos. We’ve come a long way and prolonged so many lives, including my own. If not for the research that led to development of the cocktail I currently take, my HIV might have developed into AIDs years ago and I might not be here today.”
“Unfortunately, there is still no cure in sight and until that day, we have to continue the fight, both here and around the world. So in memory of Stone, I ask you to donate all that you can, even if it’s just a few dollars. Every bit helps.” She handed the microphone to Elizabeth.
“Before I hand the reins back to Brenda, we wanted to take a moment to single out some of the donations we have already received.” She held up a paper. “First and foremost, a million dollars has been donated from each Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan and Jasper Jacks. Due to the generosity of Jasper Jacks and Carly Corinthos, the use of the MetroCourt was given to the foundation tonight free of charge and the Quartermaine family has graciously underwritten the rest of tonight’s expenses.” She paused for a moment. “Nikolas Cassadine has pledged three hundred thousand dollars, Michael and Morgan Corinthos have each donated what I’m told is their entire life savings—three hundred dollars.” Elizabeth smiled. “And Cameron Webber, with the help of Audrey Hardy, has donated fifty dollars he was saving for a Chuggin’ Charlie train.” She flicked her eyes to Patrick. “And fifty thousand dollars from Dr. Patrick Drake.”
“Let’s hear a round of applause for the generous donations so far,” Brenda called, clapping her hands. “Port Charles has the best citizens—with the exception of Carly.”
“Hey!” came the outraged cry from the back the room.
“I’m kidding!” Brenda grinned. “Mostly.” She threw her hands up. “Let’s party! Play some music!”
If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the… Love Shack! Love Shack yeah
“Thanks, Jason,” Robin said. “That was a very generous donation.”
“No problem,” Jason replied. He eyed the people on the dance floor warily before looking at Elizabeth. “You’re not going to make me dance are you?”
“Make you do something you despise?” Elizabeth sniffed. “As if I would ever do that!”
“I think it would be great to see Jason dance to the Love Shack!” Brenda declared. She wiggled her hips. “Love Shack, baby!”
“Please, I beg you,” Ned winced. “Don’t sing.”
“I have an amazingly melodic voice!” Brenda said, scandalized.
“If the definition of melodic is nails on a chalk board,” Jason muttered. Ned broke into laughter.
“That’s exactly what it sounds like!”
“I’m going to go where I’m appreciated,” Brenda flounced off to flirt with Jax and drive Carly insane.
“Sometimes I’m almost sure I missed her,” Ned remarked.
“And then she opens her mouth,” Jason finished.
“If you’re going to keep badmouthing Brenda, I’m going to go flirt with some cute doctor,” Elizabeth warned her date.
“I’d hate to break his legs,” Jason replied simply. “But if it comes to that—”
“Come on, Ned,” Robin tugged her old friend to his feet. “Let’s go show all these people why the women used to throw their underwear at you.”
Hop in my Chrysler,
It’s as big as a whale
And it’s about to set sail!
“She’s only flirting with him to make me jealous,” Patrick told Emily confidently. Emily raised her eyebrow.
“Yeah, okay, Captain Delusional,” she rolled her eyes. “Do you think you can pay attention to me? Remember? Your date?”
“I remember. I also remember that you keep making googly eyes at the Cassadine over there so don’t be a hypocrite,” Patrick replied.
“Jerk,” Emily muttered. “I was not making googly eyes.”
“You so were.” Patrick narrowed his eyes when Ned wrapped one hand around Robin’s waist and started to twirl her. “Show off.”
“I thought you didn’t do jealous,” Emily teased.
“I’m not jealous,” Patrick denied. “I’m…perturbed.”
“I never get jealous.”
“Jealous is for guys who haven’t been given the deep freeze.”
“I’m not arguing.”
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!