Apologies

In 2002/early 2003, I wrote a small series of stories in which I took out Courtney and put Elizabeth in the scene, until it became too painful to do so. Ha. Anyway. I don’t remember how many there were, but I’ve located some of them. Apologies takes place around January/Febraury 2003. I don’t really remember much else about the scene in which I replaced Courtney, but my original note on the story reads: This takes place after Elizabeth walks away from Carly.
—–

Elizabeth scanned the hallways as she hurried towards ICU. Carly Corinthos was not going to stop her this time. She was determined to see for herself that Jason was okay.

She didn’t necessarily need to talk to him—or even have a conversation with him. She just…she need to make sure he was okay.

Elizabeth stopped outside of his door and was about to knock when Sonny’s voice drifted out.

“You’re a killer, Jason. And as much as I love you…I can’t let you be around my sister.”

Elizabeth stared at the door in shock, her hand raised. Had Sonny…had he really just…said that?

Jason’s reply was too low for Elizabeth to hear but whatever it was, it was propelling Sonny towards the door. Elizabeth realized she needed to move but she couldn’t propel her body to do anything.

Sonny had just called Jason a killer. Sonny. Jason’s best friend. Jason’s brother. The man Jason would lay his life down for…had just…he’d just…

The door swung open before Elizabeth’s brain could communicate to her body that she needed to step away.

And she came to face to face with Sonny Corinthos.

Sonny was taken aback. “Elizabeth. W-what are you doing here?”

Elizabeth’s hand fell to her side and she glared at the older man. “Dr. Quartermaine told me I could see Jason.”

“Jason isn’t up for any visitors,” Sonny told her, firmly.

“Yeah, that’s what Carly told me,” Elizabeth replied. She raised her eyebrows. “And as you can see, I didn’t listen to her either.”

Sonny hesitated. “All right. Just don’t stay long.” He brushed past her and Elizabeth entered the room.

“Elizabeth?” Jason asked, surprised. He tried to shift higher on the bed and winced.

“Ooh, don’t move too much,” Elizabeth said, grimacing at the pain on his face. “How do you feel?”

“Why are you here?” Jason asked, ignoring her question.

She looked down. “Oh. I—I didn’t…I’m sorry. I guess I should have listened to Carly.” She turned to go.

“What did Carly say?” Jason asked before she could leave.

Elizabeth turned and flashed him an embarrassed smile. “That you didn’t want to see me. I thought she was just being her usual self, but—”

“It’s not that,” Jason assured her. “I’m just…surprised.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Elizabeth told him. “Are you?”

“I’ve been better,” Jason admitted.

“I actually…I came to apologize,” Elizabeth said hesitantly. “I…” She sighed and looked away. “I don’t even know where to start.” She draped her coat over the back of one of the chairs and ran her hands through her hair. “First of all, I’m going to start with the smallest apology and just work my way up.”

“Elizabeth—you don’t—”

“I need to do this for my own sanity, okay?” Elizabeth cut in. “I’m sorry about the way I left the penthouse. I wasn’t clear enough on my reasons and it led to a lot of misunderstandings.”

He frowned. “Why did you leave then?”

She braced her hands on the back of the chair and looked down. “It wasn’t all because you lied to me about Sonny. I mean—it had something to do with it, but that wasn’t it. I…I guess I just got tired of coming last in your life, of feeling like I didn’t matter…” she trailed off. “Jason, I just don’t understand. I hid you in my studio twice. I’d had a bomb in my studio, been locked in a crypt, gotten shot at…and I wasn’t trusted. But Carly turned Sonny into the feds and…” Elizabeth stopped and shook her head. “I’m not going to rehash all of that. It doesn’t matter anymore. I just wanted to apologize for how I went about it.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I’m also sorry for slapping Courtney and that entire scene in Kelly’s. Just because I was hurt…I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” She tried to smile but failed. “I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy. I just didn’t handle it well.”

Jason shifted again. “Elizabeth—” he tried again.

“And I’m sorry that I accidentally heard what Sonny just said to you,” Elizabeth said softly. Her eyes fell on his face. “I wish I hadn’t.”

Jason’s jaw clenched and he averted his eyes to look down. “What exactly did you hear?”

“I heard Sonny tell you that you were a killer and that as much as he loved you, you couldn’t be around Courtney,” Elizabeth admitted.

“He’s right,” Jason said, stiffly. “I have no business being with anyone.”

Elizabeth just shook her head. “He’s wrong, Jason.”

“No, he’s not,” Jason argued. “I am what I am, Elizabeth. I should have known it was going to be like this. I—” he stopped.

“So, Sonny gets to have the perfect family and you don’t?” Elizabeth asked. She put her hands on her hips. “I’d say that was a bit unfair, don’t you think?”

“Courtney would hate me if she found out who I really am,” Jason said, ignoring her question. “Her face would change and I can’t deal with that happening to me. Again.”

Elizabeth winced and looked away. Direct hit. “My face didn’t change because of what you do,” she told him. “I know what you do, Jason. I always have. I know that you have a gun, that you’ve used it and that you do more than work in a warehouse. I know that. My face changed because of the way I was treated and I’m sorry I didn’t make you realize that before.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that it happened,” Jason said shortly. “I’m tired of watching the people I love bleed. I did it with Robin…” he stopped and looked away. “I did it with you and I just…I wanted it to be different.”

Elizabeth’s chest tightened. “I know. But you’re forgetting something, Jason. I’ve watched you bleed and I hated it. But I never let it change my feelings.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to say the words. “If you love Courtney, if you really do…be honest with her. Do not push her away because of what you think might happen. Let her make her own decisions.”

Jason stared at her for a moment. “Why…why are you telling me this?”

“Because I speak from experience. I have spent my whole life letting people make decisions for me…I’ve said what was expected…I’ve let other people control me and it’s no way to live. And nothing…nothing hurts more…cuts more deeply…when the person you love does it to you. When they treat you like a small child who doesn’t deserve respect and doesn’t deserve the chance to decide for herself who she wants to be with.” Elizabeth sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. “It sucks, Jason and I don’t want you to do it to someone else.”

“I did that to you?” Jason asked, a little wide-eyed. “I made you feel like that?”

“Every single time you told me it was too dangerous,” Elizabeth told him firmly. She looked away. “I should go. I’ve probably been here too long.” She reached for her jacket. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jason. I—I know we haven’t been close for the last few months, but I’ll always care about you.”

Her hand was on the door handle when his voice stopped her. “I’m breaking up with her.”

Elizabeth turned around and cleared her throat. “Why?”

“Because she doesn’t know who I am,” Jason said simply. “If anything, the conversation with Sonny made me realize it.”

“Sonny’s a jackass,” Elizabeth remarked shortly. “I wouldn’t listen to a damn word that came out of his mouth. You’re his best friend—how can he not want you to be with Courtney? Doesn’t he realize that’s the safest place for her? That you would die before you let anything happen to her—”

“I told her I loved her,” Jason cut her off. Elizabeth’s face paled and she swallowed. Hard.

“Oh. That’s…I’m…I’m glad.” Elizabeth looked away. At least I think I am.

“But I don’t think I was talking to her,” Jason continued. Elizabeth’s eyes darted back to his face. “I don’t…I don’t remember a lot of what happened while we were waiting for someone to find us. I was drifting in and out a lot…but I thought I saw you. And I thought I saw your face and heard your voice.”

Elizabeth blinked. “I don’t understand. Jason, I—”

“I told Sonny I loved her because she’s his sister and it seemed like the right thing to do. I lied to him,” Jason went on. “And I realize I’ve been doing a lot of that these past few months.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “Jason, I—”

“When I get out of here…will you go for a ride with me?” Jason asked.

“Can I drive?” Elizabeth asked softly.

“I don’t know—aren’t you a little out of practice?” Jason teased.

She smiled, her eyes full of tears. “Probably. I guess that means we’ll have to go on a lot of rides.”

“I guess so,” Jason replied.

“I’d better go. You need to rest,” Elizabeth told him.

“Will you come back?” Jason asked.

“I’ll come back,” she promised.

It started out that way. When Jason got out of the hospital, he took Elizabeth’s advice. He was honest with Courtney.

Completely honest.

It didn’t go well.

He told Sonny that it was over between him and Courtney—not because it was what Sonny had wanted, but because it wasn’t right for Jason.

Jason and Brenda got their annulment. And Brenda left town in the middle of the night. She left no trace of where she could be found—but Elizabeth had a feeling that Jason knew exactly where she was.

And Jason and Elizabeth finally went on that ride.

Comments

  • Nice

    TY

    According to PAMELA HEDSTROM on May 9, 2014