A Line in the Sand

Author’s Note: This is a sort of episode tag to Friday, 7 August 2015’s episode in which Elizabeth confronted Nikolas about his possible participation in Hayden’s shooting.

I actually wrote this before I watched Friday’s episode, so the conversation between Elizabeth and Nikolas is different in my version and I didn’t feel like rewriting it. I’m not planning to follow this up with anything, though we all know I’ll end up rewriting the Jake is Jason reveal because show is going to disappoint me, so don’t be surprised if this shows up some other time.

It’s also in the style of my Lucky and Lizzie series, with just dialogue. I wrote the dialogue first intending to come back and flesh it out, but I don’t know that it’s really necessary. The first speaker is Jake/Jason, the second one is Elizabeth, and it should be relatively simple to follow. Let me know if it’s difficult and I’ll try to fix it.


I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me


“Hey. I thought you had work today. Where are the boys? Are they still at camp?”

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost three. Are you okay?”

“Um. No. No, I’m not.”

“What’s up?”

“I should—I have to pick up the boys—”

“Hey. Call Patrick. He can do it. You’re pale. Are you sick? What’s wrong? Did you call out of work?”

“No, I mean. Yeah, I called out, but I needed—I needed to think. I have to go.”

“I’ll call Patrick myself. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s bothering you. You had dinner with Nikolas last night. Did you have a fight?”

“No. I wish it were that simple. I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could go back to just lying to myself. I could pretend I was just—we were happy, right? You and me. Patrick and Sam. I have my son home. We were happy?”

“We’re all happy. Elizabeth, what happened? Did Nikolas say something?”

“I can’t. I can’t. Once I start telling you, I won’t be able to stop. You’ll know everything.”

“And what’s wrong with that? You sound scared. What the hell happened?”

“I—I know the lengths Nikolas will go to keep his control over ELQ. I don’t know why it matters so much. But I know now and what if … what if he hurts you?”

“He’s not going to hurt me, Elizabeth. Hey. Do you want to call Michael? We can call Lulu’s husband. Dante, right? If you know something Nikolas has done—”

“I didn’t know—but it was stupid to think he would just let her walk away. When he’d already lied to so many people. I was stupid to think he was lying for me now, not for himself. Nikolas never does anything without a reason.”

“Who didn’t walk away…Elizabeth, are you talking about Hayden? Did … did Nikolas know what—”

“Don’t ask me that. Please, Jake. Don’t ask me that. Because I can’t lie to you, and I don’t want to tell you the truth.”

“You know, don’t you? What Hayden was going to tell me. Nikolas had her shot first.”

“I—Yes. Yes. He did. She was blackmailing him, and he told her it didn’t matter. He let her walk out, and then she was shot. I—I really believed it was mob related, I did. But I was stupid.”

“How long—I don’t—What was Hayden trying to tell me? What doesn’t Nikolas want me to know—”

“Jake—”

“If it’s about ELQ, whoever I used to be must be connected to that. I must be able to take control back. But that doesn’t make sense, Elizabeth. The shares were left to the Quartermaine family. Nikolas controls most of that – ”

“He controls a bloc that … isn’t his to control. It belongs to someone who is supposed to be dead.”

“And that’s mine? I—am I some sort of long-lost Quartermaine? I read that Edward had some illegitimate children.”

“Oh. God. Oh, God. God. Jake. You’re not just … you’re not just some long-lost Quartermaine no one knows about. You’re…You’re Jason.”

“That’s … That’s not possible.”

“But you are. And I’ve known for months.”

“How did you find out?”

“I was coming to find you. I thought … I thought this would be our chance. You weren’t married after all.”

“Since the Nurse’s Ball?”

“Nikolas stopped me from coming to you. He said it was because he didn’t me to get hurt. Because you did have a wife. And a son.”

“No. No. I don’t know what’s going on here. But I am not Jason Morgan—”

“You are. And I lied to you. And then Hayden overheard the truth, and Nikolas shot her to keep her quiet.”

“What did he say to you to make you stay quiet? Why would he even tell you?”

“At the time, I honestly thought he didn’t want me to get hurt. He thought I would—I would keep my distance. Or something. And when he told me about ELQ, I thought what a terrible risk he’d taken—I could have ruined all his plans by telling you the truth. But he knew me better than I know myself.”

“Because you lied.”

“And he must have known how tempted I would be. He knows how I lie. I lie to other people, to myself. I lie like some people breathe.”

“That’s not—that’s not true, Elizabeth. I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t understand what’s happening, but that’s not true—”

“I lie to myself most of all. I do. It’s how I get up in the morning. When I thought my son was gone, I told myself I was okay. I was past it. But I was dead inside, and I know that now, because he’s home. And I woke up.”

“Elizabeth–

“I’ve tried so hard to stop lying to myself, but I don’t know how. I do it without thinking. I was going to tell the truth. That night. I got on stage and I was ready to do it. Until I looked at Patrick and Sam, and I thought … he’ll be devastated. And I would be unhappy. And I’m so tired of that. I’ve been swimming in misery for years.”

“You lied to me, Elizabeth. About who I am. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you right now?”

“No. And you shouldn’t. I’m just…I’m trying to explain how I could tell you I love you and lie to you about something so important. And it’s because I don’t know how to do anything else.”

“What, you’re some kind of pathological liar? Come on—”

“When I was pregnant with Jake, Jason thought—You thought he was Lucky’s son. And you told me it was for the best. That it was better that way. And instead of being honest, I thought…well, if that’s how he feels, if my son would just be a burden to him, then I won’t tell the truth. He doesn’t want him—”

“I don’t know anything about that day, Elizabeth. You tell me I’m Jason Morgan, but I don’t know him. And I’m sorry he hurt you. Was this some kind of revenge?”

“No! But I’m trying—It doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. You know now. And I know Nikolas is willing to kill to keep his control at ELQ. That puts everyone who goes against him in danger. Okay? That’s important here.”

“We’re not done yet, Elizabeth. If I’m Jason, that makes Danny and Jake my sons. What could you have possibly told yourself to keep me away from them?”

“Nothing rational. Nothing that makes sense when you say it out loud. You were here, in my life. And you were part of Jake’s life. And Danny—he was happy.  Or maybe it was about revenge. Maybe I didn’t think Sam deserved to have you in Danny’s life.”

“What the hell—”

“I raised Jake alone. You knew he was yours and walked away.”

“That wasn’t me—”

“But you didn’t even know about Danny being yours and were willing to raise him. So maybe, maybe I was lying to myself when I thought he was happy and would be okay. Maybe I didn’t really give a damn about him.”

“I don’t…I don’t even know who you are right now.”

“It’s not like Sam ever gave a damn about me or my boys. She didn’t when she watched an unstable mother kidnap Jake three weeks after he was born, and then kept quiet about it for another two weeks. And then she hired men with guns to scare Cameron and me.”

“Elizabeth—”

“And when none of that worked, she went after Lucky and destroyed my marriage. It was already on life support, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t even with you when Jake was conceived, but she tried to destroy me as payback.”

“But this isn’t about Sam. It’s about me.”

“I know. And I’m not proud of what I did, Jake. The longer I kept quiet, the worse it was. The harder it became. When my—our son—came home, I wanted to tell you. I thought about it.”

“But said nothing.”

“Because I was terrified. You’d learn who you were, that I had lied. And you would walk away. And what would I do then? Explain to Jake another father disappeared?”

“Elizabeth—”

“As long as you didn’t have your memories, I could rationalize it. You didn’t remember that life, so what was I really taking from you?”

“It’s not your choice to make.”

“I know that. And what I did was no different than what Ric did. I saw what I wanted, and I took it. I knew it was going to be over the second you learned the truth, whether you got your memories back and went back to Sam or you found out I lied. I knew we were on borrowed time because I was never going to be able lie forever.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I wanted to have you. To be happy just for a little while. It’s all I ever get.  I hate myself more than you could ever hate me. I used you. I used what we felt for each other before I ever knew the truth, and I’m sorry for that. I am.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information. Nikolas Cassadine is willing to kill to keep this secret. Is that what he told you last night?”

“He told me that if I told anyone about his involvement with Hayden’s shooting, it would be my word against his, and I’m the one with something to lose.”

“That’s a threat. He threatened you.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“Can you tell me honestly that he wouldn’t come after you if you were responsible for him losing ELQ?”

“Not me. Not personally. He wouldn’t do that to the boys. But he could go after you. I have to believe the only reason he’s left you alive is because he doesn’t think you’ll get your memories back.”

“Well he’s not wrong about that. I thought I didn’t remember because I wasn’t around anything familiar. And it turns out I’ve been surrounded by my old life. By the same people. And nothing more than flashes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

Yes. If you’d gotten your memories back, I would have dealt with it, Jake. I just didn’t want to be the one–I didn’t want to blow up my own world.”

“Why today? What made you change your mind?”

“I don’t know if Nikolas will…I can’t…I can’t seem to convince myself he’ll leave you alone. If he decides he’s not even willing to take the minimal risk of you eventually learning the truth—”

“So he threatened me.”

“Not in so many words, but he made it clear that whatever he’s using ELQ for, it’s important enough to kill for. He knew Hayden. He’d slept with her. And he tried to kill her.”

“She’s awake now. She says she doesn’t know anything.”

“He went to see her. She’ll stay quiet for fear of her life, but I’m not sure Nikolas believes her. I think he’ll go after her again, and you know, it’s one thing to lie to you. But if I say nothing, if I sit back and let Nikolas go on like this…I’ll be a murderer.”

“Hey. No.”

“And you know, it’s comforting to know that there are some lines I’m not willing to cross. I sacrificed my dignity. My self-esteem. Every shred of integrity I ever owned. But not my soul. He can’t have that.”

“We’re going to come back to this discussion, Elizabeth. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this. About this lie. About the people who cared about Jason. But that’s not our first priority.”

“This is going to sound selfish, but are you … does everyone have to know what a horrible person I am?”

“You mean am I going to tell Sam and Carly that you knew who I was and lied about it?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know that it’s anyone’s business how I found out the truth. You lied to me. You didn’t owe anyone else the truth but me.”

“How will you explain knowing the truth?”

“I’ll say I searched Nikolas’s study and figured it out. Let me worry about that, Elizabeth. You’re the one whose oldest friend is killing people to protect this secret.”

“No one’s dead yet.”

“Not for lack of trying, and I don’t intend for either of us to be first.”

Comments

  • Love it

    According to Pwrmom2 on August 11, 2015
  • Loved it.

    According to Shay on August 11, 2015
  • Eventually the truth has to come out

    According to leasmom on August 12, 2015
  • Nice!

    According to Mona on August 12, 2015